How Tinder killed dating
How Tinder killed dating
A brief history of online dating
As a socially awkward & nerdy dude, it was relatively easy to get dates through online dating back in the early 2000s.
In the early 2000s, all it took, was just playing numbers. Out of every 10 girls you contacted, maybe 1 or 2 responded. Out of every 10 that responded, maybe 1 or 2 led to a date. And then you just needed to do enough dates.
Back then, all you needed was a Messenger tool. On ICQ, you could even narrow down your dating pool by searching by region, music taste, etc.
As more people started using the Internet, contacting random strangers through tools like that no longer was a valid strategy, so I started using the social media of the day. And when that ceased to work, I started using dating sites.
Once the masses started swiping, even women with below average looks started getting used to getting attention from 100s of men per year. Result : nearly all but a small minority of superhot & rich men can't even manage to set up a date anymore…
So, what happened? What exactly changed? Well, let me explain it in Autistic detail…
Nerds always had it tough on the dating market. But, when I was 19, the dating market was probably as wholesome and easy as it ever was, for nerds.
Back then, most guys and gals just met people going out, or at other types of events. Hot dudes dated hot girls, average looking dudes dated average looking girls, ugly dudes dated ugly girls. Your looks determined your odds of getting laid, regardless of sex, and both sexes were aware of that.
And if you were shy and/or socially awkward, the Internet allowed you to overcome your fear of crowds or approaching people. Most "normies" were barely even using the Internet back then, so for most part, it was a pretty friendly freedom-loving place where weirdos of either sex could meet other weirdos of either sex.
And, for most part, whoever you could date, was relative to your "market value". If you were more attractive or less socially awkward than the rest, you had an advantage regardless of sex. Still, anyone had a fair shot at meeting someone of the opposite sex and all it took was putting in a bit of effort.
The more people started using the Internet, the more of a hostile place it became. It became ever more common for women to be flooded with messages from random creepy dudes, so as a dude it became harder to stand out in the crowd. Options for meeting eligable bachelors gradually declined, but it was only with the rise of Tinder that it got truly toxic.
In no time, Tinder became thé platform for online dating. And while online dating used to be frowned upon and was something you only did when you didn't know how to meet someone at a pub or disco, now almost everyone remotely interested in dating had an account over there. This means the socially awkward average looking dudes were now in the same arena as the smoking hot jocks, competing for the same women.
Now, what most women don't realize, is that men tend to lower their standard for sex, compared with long term relationships. Hot dudes generally don't mind sleeping with an average looking woman and average looking men generally don't mind sleeping with an ugly woman, but they're much less likely to maintain those same standards when it comes to long term relationships.
The result is that lots of women gained sexual access to men much hotter than they'd previously have access to. This typically causes them to lose interest in men at their own level of attractiveness and breeds a sense of entitlement towards men more attractive than them. But, because that type of men only uses them for pleasure, such women end up perpetually stuck in what's commonly known today as "situationships" (AFAIK that term didn't even exist when I was 19).
For most dudes, however, the opposite happened. They had fewer sexual access to women of their own level of attractiveness and became forced to lower their standards if they wanted access to female intimacy of any kind. So men started contacting women they'd previously ignore.
The result of this, is that women get yet more men to choose from. So they get more picky (appearance wise). So more men no longer find women remotely at their attractiveness level. So men further lower their standards. etc. etc. etc.
Tinder created a vicuous circle that made not just online dating but dating in general more toxic with every day. Most women are overwhelmed by options but completely clueless how to pick a dude who isn't just interested in sex, causing them to either hop from one @$$hole to another or just avoid the dating market altogether. Meanwhile, an ever increasing majority of men is left with ever fewer options and often considers themselves lucky if they obtain just a brief moment of intimacy by scraping the bottom of the dating barrel.
If you ever wondered how we've reached a place where so many women absolutely hate all men and so many men absolutely hate all women, this is it. It didn't use to be like that back when I was 19 It's because online dating, which was once the "great equalizer", has now completely ruined dating and made it a very unpleasant experience for almost everyone involved, largely due to its discovery by "normies" (aka average people) and the monopolisation of the market by Tinder and the various Tinder clones.
Sure, people have always struggled to empathise with the daily experience of the opposite sex to some agree. But, at least throughout the 4 decades I've roamed this planet, the empathy was never that low and the hatred on either side was never that high... because I come from a time where the sexes (for most part) still respected each other and most genuinely just tried to get along. Today, a lot of trauma and frustration on both sides of the gender didive seems to have made that the exception rather than the norm. And it’s de facto destroying the very concept of dating.